Needing to be needed
Last night I had therapy, whether I just rant on for an hour or really dig deep I always come out of it feeling even just a little less emotional baggage holding me down. I wanted to discuss friendships last night so I started with the fact that maybe I was a little too needy. I brought up that maybe I expected too much from some friends and inadvertently it pushed them away. She asked me what it was I wanted and I stopped to think about it for a moment. I said I just wanted to be thought of from time to time. She asked if that was all and I said basically that was all. She said she thought maybe more than me needing them I wanted them to need me. Right when she said that bells went off in my head.
It feels good for me to listen to my friends when they need to talk about something, even more so when I think I can help in some way. I get so excited when I receive emails from my friends saying hi or updating me on what is going on in their life. I like it even more when they email me needing help or just wanting to get something off of their chest. Going for weeks without hearing from a friend you feel is a close friend can hurt, especially when you find out you missed out on important parts of their life.
So I don’t feel guilty anymore but at the same time I understand how easy it is for life to get in the way. The older we all get the harder it is to sustain real relationships anymore, especially if there is any kind of distance involved. Life goes by so fast and seems to slip through our fingers like sand. We all just want to feel loved and to feel important, I think that’s the very least we all deserve.