It’s called overthinking

To say I overthink things from time to time is an enormous understatement. Is overthinking an ADD thing? I mean I can’t seem to stop thinking even when I probably should be relaxing. I’ve tried yoga a few times and I ended up even more stressed. Here is what my brain was like in downward dog:

Am I doing this right? This doesn’t feel right. I should probably be relaxed not tense right now. Why can’t I relax? What’s wrong with me? Damn, why didn’t I wear different underwear, it’s riding up my butt. How am I supposed to relax with a wedgy and my butt in the air? I hope nobody is looking at my butt. Ok…relax…just stop thinking…seriously! Stop thinking! What’s wrong with me?

Same goes for the one time I got a massage on our last vacation, it took me 15 minutes to stop grinding my teeth. I guess on a good note I did eventually relax for the massage, either I’m actually starting to relax as I get older or maybe it was just the fact of not holding my legs straight up in the air as I breeeeeeeeath. Maybe, just maybe, I need more massages. Maybe more often when I come home from a 10 hour stressful day I should take a long hot bath instead of watching Gilmore Girls (might be a form of speed) and surfing through blogs on my laptop.

It makes me wonder why I never ended up depending on some kind of substance other than at the occasional party or bar. I’ve never really had a drug problem or an alcohol problem other than the usual college girl testing her boundaries. I suppose though many of the popular drugs only would make me more tense. Most of the times I tried to smoke pot I would get the opposite effect of everyone around me. I can’t tell you how many times I’d just end up sitting there with a dumb grin on my with my brain running a million miles a minute…mostly just trying to figure out if I was stoned or not 😆

Most of the big events in my life I’ve overthought them so much I never ended up enjoying them. My senior prom, my graduation and even my Bat Mitzvah. I have a feeling the day of my wedding I will need to take a xanax just so I will be able to listen to the groom’s vows. Maybe I should get myself a book or an audio book that teaches relaxation…or maybe I should try meditation.

…or maybe…I should just go back to sleep…

3 Comments

  1. Chris

    April 3, 2006 at 3:46 pm

    Absolutely understand and agree with everything you just said, and that it’s not necessarily an ADD thing, although I’m no doctor.

    I find that I cannot stop thinking, especially when I’m doing something like walking, or the washing up, or just being home by myself. I start thinking about something completely random, and it turns into this downward spiral that ends up with me berating myself and being really down.

    I always try to have the television on, my iPod on, or some kind of background noise to focus on. And it’s probably why I read so many books, to escape from any of my own thoughts.

  2. Robin

    April 3, 2006 at 6:35 pm

    Well that in itself isn’t quite ADD but the fact I can never focus is. Luckily, with meds, I can focus a lot better than before.

  3. Dee

    April 3, 2006 at 11:23 pm

    😳 I can so relate to this, I over think things so much that I end up realizing I’m over thinking things. It just turns into some aggressive spiral where I trap myself day dreaming for a good 30 minutes before I find out whats really going on.

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