Another chapter closed

I just found out that this friend of mine from college who I found out is engaged, the reason none of us hear from her at all anymore is because she doesn’t want to communicate with anyone if they question her life choices. Now I understand why I never hear from her and why she never responds to my emails. Mind you I’ve actually never EVER questioned her life choices but encouraged her to do more.

Last time I saw her I suggested that since she was currently single and had no real ties (and had the money) to maybe travel abroad, that I thought it would make a real difference in her life. If I were in her position it is something I would love to do and still hope to travel in the future but right now just isn’t possible. Instead she chose to get engaged to a guy with a criminal record, MAJOR money problems and several children with different women that he takes no responsibility for (she had told me his mother pays his child support).

So at this point I’m really cutting off ties with her because I simply cannot deal with that. If she wants to live in complete denial that is fine with me but I can’t be a part of it. I will always adore her and worry about her. She has a lot of problems that I know she has a really hard time addressing or dealing with and I hope someday she finds out what really makes her happy.

I’m sad because she was at one point a long time ago such a dear friend and I will always be there for her if she needs me but I just cannot sit in the side lines anymore. Maybe she knows exactly what she’s doing and will end up being really happy. I really hope that’s the case, I hope I’m completely wrong. In the end though, as I’ve said many times, a friendship is a two way street…anything less really isn’t a friendship at all.

Oh and if anyone knows what it’s like for people to question their life choices I certainly do, I would never do that to anyone I cared about.


  1. Gary

    February 21, 2006 at 2:41 pm

    It sounds like you’re doing the right thing. Maybe someday she will see that she was being too defensive.

  2. Robin

    February 21, 2006 at 4:19 pm

    Yeah I just hope someday she will realize how much she’s truly worth.

  3. Kery

    February 21, 2006 at 4:27 pm

    That’s really too bad. One can indeed only hope that things will go well for her, even if seeing each other would be too painful or problematic. I see what it may be… not easy to close one’s eyes on something you disagree with, and also hard to not question the choices themselves.


  4. janet

    February 21, 2006 at 9:52 pm

    Wow. Seems like she might be somewhat ashamed of her choices, since she’s cutting ties from her friends so she won’t get questioned… I think it’s good to push people to do more with their life… be the best they can be, etc. I think it’s one thing that makes a good friend. But her loss I guess. :T

  5. Robin

    February 22, 2006 at 6:48 am

    Janet – Same here. I believe in supporting friends in their choices but also being truthful.

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