Some time with a good friend

It’s so strange how things change and nothing ends up how you expected it to be. Today I had a meeting with a good friend at Barnes & Noble for coffee and such. We always have such healthy discussions and I think we always feel regenerated afterwards. She thought by 27 she’d be married with 2 kids, and she’s not quite there yet but is married. I thought I’d be living in the city and single…yeah not quite…ok not even close.

Where our lives are and where they seem to be going are so drastically different than we imagined them 7 or more years ago in college. Also after my little rant about friendships earlier we realized that friendships just can’t be the same as they were in college, it’s a part of growing up.

In college we all lived together and most of our relationships were a pretty minor part of our lives. Now the men we’ve decided to spend our lives with are the major part of our lives and friendships take a back seat…it’s a part of life. Erik is my partner in life and we share a life, it’s hard for anything to compete with that…and it shouldn’t. When I was younger friendships were the most important of all my relationships but as this friend once said “your friends don’t to sleep next to you at night” or at least not anymore. I see having a serious long term relationship as starting a new family, even if you don’t have kids. Erik is my family.

But the really interesting part in seeing this friend is we didn’t get along in college very well. The simplest way to explain it is it was like trying to mix oil and water. We’ve met up again as our lives are now so different than they were then and of course we are very different than we were at 22 as well. I think we are both a little more mature and a little less self-absorbed. We can sit, talk and listen for hours, which is hard to believe considering how before we couldn’t get along for more than a few minutes it seems.

So I’ve decided life just changes and will continue to keep changing as the years go on. It’s ok but sometimes it takes a little while to get used to it. As long as you have someone to love and who loves you. As long as you have a place to keep warm and a few good pair of jeans you’ve got it pretty good.

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