I used to care

I used to care that I didn’t know my boyfriend’s daughter and that she really didn’t know me. I used to care that I couldn’t give her gifts or cards. I used to care but I don’t think I do anymore. Maybe if I get a chance to know her someday I will care but I just don’t anymore. I feel bad that I don’t but that’s just where I am.

The man I love and that I share my life with has a nearly 7-year-old daughter that I don’t know. It worries me sometimes that I’m creating a life with someone and I don’t even know this vital part of him. There is a young person walking around this world that is part him and that he helped raise at one point. There is a little girl with his smile, his chin and his stubbornness. There is a little being that calls him daddy and I may spend my whole life with him and be a part of their relationship.

I thought of this just now because he was telling me about a card he bought her and I found it so strange we share the same birthday but never really got to enjoy that. Ok, maybe I care a little more than I realized.


  1. Maureen

    February 8, 2006 at 5:53 pm

    There is no way it can continue like this indefinitely. It sucks, though, that, once you do get to start getting to know her, you’re going to have to overcome not only the regular ‘Hi, we both love your dad, so I think it’s a good idea for us to get to know each other better’ stuff, but also the ‘Your mom has taught you that I’m a horrible woman’ stuff, too.

    I know that, together, you & Erik will be able to do it, though.

  2. Robin

    February 8, 2006 at 8:12 pm

    Thanks for that Maureen.

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