Declaration of Love

My Sprout was not my only love, ever, but he is the great love of my life. I used to think another ex of mine was the man I was supposed to end up with…I was so sure of it. I partially blame the movies and Rachel & Ross for putting crazy ideas in my head.

My ex and I broke up a month before I went off to college (he was still in high school). We broke up for various reasons…none that make any difference at this point. I went off to college to find myself and break out of my shell whereas he started over in high school. No matter what I did in college after we broke up mattered because he was always there in my subconscious…always in the back of my mind.

Sophomore year…after a pretty bad heartbreak and a couple hopeless excuses for relationships I decided that ex was the one I was meant to be with. At that point he was graduating high school and had a girlfriend of his own. I went back to my home town convinced I could get back that great love. I was sure it would be like in the movies when the person who just realized that the other person is their great love so they run back to them (with music playing in the background) and the couple embraces as the screen fades to black.

It didn’t quite go that way. I got together with him after some marching band thing (that’s where we met) because I wanted to talk with him. I went on and on about how much I still loved him and how wonderful he was. I poured out my heart for what seemed like days on end and he kindly listened. When I was done he told me that was really nice of me but that he was in a relationship at the time. Still, he smiled and we said goodnight. I went home a little disappointed but decided my mission wasn’t quite over.

The next day he was graduating from high school so I wrote a poem (no idea what it said anymore) and ordered 3 long stem roses. The roses were 1 red, 1 yellow and 1 pink each representing a feeling I had for him. I left the box of roses on his doorstep with the poem. A day or 2 later he called to say “thanks.”

My declaration of love didn’t get me very far but looking back on it I’m pretty proud of taking such a leap like that. Part of me, the insecure part, wonders if he thought I was some kind of stalker or whatever but I hope it’s looked at as a sweet memory. When I say I am a romantic this is a good example of it.

2 Comments

  1. Maureen

    November 28, 2005 at 10:56 am

    It’s good that you can look back on that with some perspective & see a nice romantic dream in it all.

    I’m still embarrassed by the many times in the past that I’ve opened up my heart like that.

    I hope he looks back on your relationship fondly, too. It’s all part of what builds us up to be ready for the great loves we have now 😀

  2. Robin

    November 28, 2005 at 11:01 am

    I’m still a little embarrassed by it and he and I aren’t really friends anymore. I do think fondly of him and hope he does for me. He’s a wonderful guy and will make some woman very happy someday. I think not many people are really willing to go out on a ledge like I did which is what I am proud of. To really open your heart like that knowing the probability of being hurt.

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