To Love Is Not In Our Control

Wednesday Writing Prompt: Is loving someone a choice?

Quote of inspiration — “Meeting someone is chance, being friends is choice, loving someone is beyond our control.”

Over the years I’ve been either bitter, lovestruck or somewhere in between but I’ve always believed we don’t have control over who we love. Do we have control over how we handle our feelings? Yes. Say you fall in love with someone that you maybe think is a bad idea for whatever reason. Do you have control over your feelings? Do you have control over your heart pounding when you see him/her? Do you have control over thinking about him/her? I don’t believe you do. Do you have control over going over to his/her house and ripping their clothes off? Yes, I believe you do.

There have been times in my life where I have both tried not to love someone I do and tried to love someone I didn’t, neither ever worked out that way. I think as humans we like to have as much control as possible but control only goes so far. Emotions aren’t about control, it would seem to defeat the purpose of them.

My boyfriend, I tried to control my emotions for him for a while, not for anyone else but myself. I was afraid of being hurt again and in particular by someone I cared for on such a deep level. I was terrified to tell him that I did love him, I’d always left that up to the guy to do first but luckily he knew it was something I needed to do for myself. So in the dark of the night, lying next to him, I finally said the words: “I love you.” Without hesitation he responded with “I love you too” and a weight was lifted. Now my true emotions could come to the surface, it was a release.

Life is too short to deny love when you feel it.


  1. Meg

    November 18, 2005 at 8:33 am

    I like your line of thinking and I believe I probably agree with it. I have found that the healthier I have become and the more I have learned to love myself – the better choices I am able to make regarding love prospects and those who cross my path.

    I also tend to develop strong feelings very rapidly and have had to learn that I can not control that response – that seems to be something beyond my control. What I do control is what I do with those feelings, which seems to be exactly what you are getting at!

    Peace – Meg

  2. Robin

    November 18, 2005 at 8:38 am

    Thank you Meg 😀 It’s definitely an age and wisdom thing with love. It takes years and years I think to really understand love and what is good for you.

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