Learning what love is

Again yes watching Oprah today and Mindy McCready was on talking about how she tried to kill herself over a guy who beat the crap out of her that she still ‘loved.’ As Oprah asked her over and over again Mindy was certain she loved this man who tried to kill her.

I believe that anyone who says that they love someone that intentionally hurts them and treats them so badly doesn’t have the slightest clue what love really is. I don’t believe love is pain. I think you can be in pain because of your love for someone…such as if your loved one is hurt or hurting then it causes you pain.

love n.

A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

From that description I don’t think that coincides with a person who beats you repeatidly. I believe with someone like this it’s not so much she loves this man but she desperately hates herself.

The worst part of all of this is it turns out she’s pregnant with his baby now because she continued to go back to him even after he nearly killed her. I believe she will probably continue to go back to him until he kills her, her baby or both. Although he may end up in jail unless I guess she drops the charges.

Unless this woman drastically changes this poor child doesn’t have a chance.


  1. dee

    November 5, 2005 at 12:00 am

    Is it possible that other people have a different definition of love and lust? I’m by no means trying to attack your blog or whatever but I’m just saying. I know what she is doing or even thinking is incredibly wrong and even crazy to most of us, but a bond of love could possibly go further then a feeling of affection. I know most would probably just say it’s a case of infactuation. Hell what do I know.


  2. Angel

    November 5, 2005 at 2:39 am

    Pain, there is a difference between good pain and bad pain. The one you blogged about is bad pain. Why in the world the woman put up with the bad ass? Pardon me for the language.

  3. Robin

    November 5, 2005 at 8:04 am

    Dee – your opinion is always welcome…I don’t expect everyone to agree with me. I honestly though don’t think it’s infatuation either…I think it’s more of an obsession. She had talked about how awfully her mother treated her and how miserable she made her feel but how she loved her mother more than just about anything. It was just weird how she classified ‘love.’ I guess it just upsets me when people seem to think that kind of pain is a part of love because I don’t think so. On another level how many times I’ve though I loved a guy who treated me badly…it wasn’t love.

    Angel – Yes…good pain and bad pain…very good way to put it. Bad ass? 😆 I can do a lot worse than that 😉

  4. Maureen

    November 5, 2005 at 11:16 am

    I think it’s probably possible to love someone who treats you badly. But, I think that if you can do that, then you don’t love yourself very much. And, that’s pretty sad.

  5. Janet

    November 5, 2005 at 8:44 pm

    agreed with Maureen. It’s sad when people get in that pattern of abusive circumstances.. And they just don’t
    realize it. they just try to justify it. Interesting, about love.. I like to think that there are different levels
    of love. There’s puppy love which isn’t the same as other kinds of love. I think there can be love as pain but
    just a very warped version of it.

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