Selfishness

“You shouldn’t punish others for your own choices”

I think this is something I need to live by…at least for the next several months that we struggle to deal with all that keeps happening. I chose the life that I have right now. I, however, did not choose to fall madly in love with a guy who comes with more baggage than American Airlines but I did choose to be with him. I could get up any day and move on if I wanted. I could pack my stuff up and move back to my parents *shudder*

Sometimes I wonder if it’s all worth it and sometimes my selfishness overrides how he makes me happier than I’ve ever been in my whole life. It’s nearly everyday I have to push away the anger I have towards everything that comes along with loving him because I know it’s nothing I can truly blame him for.

All I ever really wanted in a guy was for him to love me unconditionally, make me laugh, believe in me, respect me, understand me, let me have the remote control, kiss me goodnight, ask me how my day was, let me watch my soap opera every afternoon and love cats. Ok, so I went on a little there…

Point is…I need to stop being selfish and remember that my dreams have come true. Are they exactly as I pictured them in my head as a teenager? No. But who he is as a person is more than I could ever have dreamed. So what if we live the rest of our days in debt and in an apartment…imagining life without him is a lot worse.

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