I’ve always believed I’m a good friend but then I know I’m also not the easiest person to deal with. On my good days I think I’m easy to talk to and on a bad day well…I wouldn’t want to be the other person.
We all have our baggage and mine has ALWAYS been friendships…both in real life and online. For me it goes back to how I was treated when I was younger and because of that I don’t trust easily. Don’t get me wrong, I try to trust because I want to but somehow I put up a wall and I get very scared. I get scared I’ll be used or made fun of behind my back and I worry of this because it has happened too many times to me.
When I first went off to college I didn’t make any friends for 2 weeks and everyone thought I was a bitch. I kept to myself and stayed in my room. Then one day one of the girls on my floor took the time to say something to me and to this day I’m really close with many of those women on the 7th floor. I was always worried they hated me or didn’t like me but in time I learned they really did and the fear mostly went away.
Online is hard because you have to believe the best in people and sometimes that is just hard to do…especially when you get really close to some. Friendships to me has been a lifelong struggle.