So I’ve learned a lot in the last week since my furkid Pilot had to have his back leg removed. He had a tumor and the best option to save his life was to remove his leg entirely. I was scared, I won’t lie. I was afraid he might never be Pilot again. I was afraid he might not make it through the surgery. I was afraid (and still am) that the cancer spread past his leg. The fear was palpable and I cried constantly for days.
You can see how his leg looked before the surgery in my post here. I want to share my journey on here for other people who are going through this process as well and want to know more about it. I wish I had found a blog post to help me through this at the time.
First you should know every cat (or dog) is different. While some cats might not be able to handle this drastic change to their body other cats will thrive with three legs. We are lucky that Pilot is a tough kitty and I guess the fact that we smother him with love all the time doesn’t hurt.
We took Pilot to the Orthopedic Surgeon on Thursday and we were told that if his cancer had spread they would have to put him down but if it had not they would remove the leg. I told them either way I wasn’t ready to put him down, he was still really happy and healthy other than his leg. Luckily they couldn’t find any proof it had spread so that day they removed his leg and the surgery went really well.
On Friday they let us pick him up and take him home. When they brought him out to us it was a shock to say the least. The spot where he once had a furry little white leg was bare pink skin with stitches. It’s still taking me some time to adjust to this.
They had said he wasn’t moving much and that he wasn’t eating or drinking water. I felt it was a good sign that once we brought him home he began eating, drinking water and walking around. What he needed was the comfort and love of home. We put a blanket for him on the ground, his own litterbox a few feet away and food and water right next to him.
We had to give him a medicine (liquid form) under his tongue twice a day. We had antibiotics to give him twice a day (we gave this to him crushed up in wet food) and he had a patch on his foot to manage the pain. We made sure one of us was always home to watch him.
We tried to block off his usual litter box with a trunk in the doorway because we felt it was too far away and too difficult to get into. Manly Man woke up that night and couldn’t find Pilot. It turned out he’d climbed on top of the trunk and dropped down on the other side to try to get to the litter box. We moved the trunk at that point and he eventually learned that he had a new litter box.
Within 24 hours he started walking really well and climbing up and down from the sofa. After 5 days he was running across the house, it was amazing. When I came home from work on Tuesday he curled up in my lap on the sofa like he did everyday before the surgery. He was quite nearly good ol Pilot again.
Warning TMI: I will note he had some trouble with pooping. I tried putting some fiber suppliment in his wet food and for a few days he didn’t seem to go. Then suddenly on Monday night he laid down in his litter box, which was strange. I went to go google what that meant (google can be your best friend in these situations) and as I was doing that I missed the diarreah that ended up on the wall and the floor. He had been blocked up but this helped, though maybe a little too well.
So it’s been nearly a week now since his surgery and he’s come so far. I have a feeling that eventually he’ll have forgotten what it’s like to have that 4th leg. I’m so glad I can be there for him and make this easier on him. I love being his mommy and filling his world with love especially since he does the same for me.
Pilot has a swollen leg. After 3 visits to the vet and a lot of money it turns out it’s a tumor. Next we have to go see an Orthopedic Surgeon, that’s tomorrow. Can we afford this? No, we still need to find a way to get Manly Man a car.
The thing is, I can’t just let him go, he’s my baby boy. He’s turning 9 years old this summer. We’ve had both Aurora and Pilot since basically the beginning of our relationship, we’re a family. It’s been a rough time for us lately and he’s one of the very bright spots in our lives.
Every single day when I come home within minutes he jumps up on the sofa and into my lap. It’s one of my favorite times of day and washes all the crap of the day away.
He has a tumor on his leg and he’ll probably have it amputated. I’m incredibly sad about this but if we can save his life I want to, I can’t imagine a life without him. I know cats aren’t around forever but I want him as long as I can have him. I couldn’t live with watching him suffer but if we can help him and give him a great life still then that’s what I need to do.
Side note: I get way too many of my ideas for things from How I Met Your Mother.
So at the ripe old age of 34 I’ve been thinking lately of the things that just make me say:
I’m too old for that shit.
It’s not that I CAN’T do most of these things, it’s just that I’m too old to pretend I’m fine with it when I’m not. I’m at an age now that I can say I just simply don’t want to do something and just not do it. Here is the shit I refuse to do anymore (unless I have no other choice):
- Sleep on the floor, sofa or air mattress. Now of course if I’m too far away to drive home or too drunk I don’t have a choice but I usually plan this stuff out ahead of time so I can sleep in my own bed.
- Get plastered. I like getting a nice warm buzz on or even a little tipsy but I have zero interest in getting so drunk I’m slurring and falling down. I’ve done that many times and it occurred to me now in my mid-thirties that it’s actually not fun at all and never was.
- Go clubbing. Now the only way I’d EVER go clubbing now would be if it were a club for people over 30. I just feel too weird going to a club with twenty-somethings. I’m not aware of any thirty-something clubs anywhere near me.
- Going to the beach. This has less to do with the fact I’m 34, I’ve just come to the understanding that I hate going to the beach and will not go to please other people. This is something I don’t like to do so I just bow out when people go. You’d be surprised how difficult this is to explain to people. Listen, I don’t like sitting around in the sun getting burned, getting sand up my crotch and doing all of this in a bathingsuit.
- Heals. I just gave up the idea of wearing heals almost at all. I’m sure I’ll put them on at some point but I don’t like wearing them and Manly Man doesn’t even like them. If I have to I like chunky heals that I will have less of a chance of falling over and making a fool of myself.
- Drama. In the last couple years I’ve been trying to clean as much drama out of my life. I will not apologize for walking away from drama that just causes me stress and anxiety. More than any of the other, DRAMA: I’m too old for that shit.
I think my list is pretty mild. This is my way of standing my ground and not doing things anymore because everyone is doing it, which I’ve done a lot in my past. I’m in my mid-thirties and I don’t want to do anything in my free time that I don’t enjoy. As an adult with a full-time job I need to be able to relax when I want to and spend my time the way I want to. Maybe some of this makes me a bit of a wet blanket but I really don’t give a shit anymore.
I want to be free of the depression that is consuming me. I want to be free of the hold my father has over me. I want to be free of the judgement from people that Manly Man can’t find work. I want to be free of the desperate need to feed my stress day in and day out. I want to be free of the exhaustion and the hopelessness.
Yes folks, this is an uplifting post for ya!
It’s been more than 3 years now that Manly Man hasn’t been able to find work. I know that people blame him including my father and who knows who else. I know they think this but there is nothing I can really say. I know he’s tried really hard and I know how desperate it is out there. I also know we’re in a situation right now where he has no car, which only makes the situation that much worse.
The only thing that keeps me from completely shutting down is spending time with my husband, my furkids and my friends. Also what cures some of the hours I could be spending over-thinking everything is taking photography, watching favorite shows and reading. This, so far, is what is keeping me from a complete and utter breakdown.
I keep telling myself things will get better but it’s awful hard to believe after more than 3 years.
Only 4 more episodes of Skins and I’ve been thinking about how that will effect me. For some tv is just tv but this show has become so much more and I’m not sure how to properly express that. I feel like these characters are a part of my life and what happens to them effects me. There has been 6 seasons and 3 generations. I’ve loved all of them, even the characters I didn’t always like so much (::cough::Effy::cough::).
When I watched Generation One I refused for a while to watch Generation Two because I loved One too much. Eventually I gave in and while Two wasn’t One they had their beautiful scenes and some characters that are my favorite. Ok, so only one character that I truly loved and that is James Cook.
I think that becoming an adult friendship becomes so much more complicated and difficult. I like watching these teenagers growing up and figuring themselves out while having each other’s backs. Sometimes they fight but they always come around in the end. Yeah being a teenager is hard, mostly because of all those damn hormones, but friendship is more fluid I think. Your friends live right down the street and you see them everyday. As an adult you have to schedule time to see each other and you’ve lucky if you can do that a couple times a month.
This last season has been pretty intense so far. New relationships have started and one of them already ended. Someone has “died” if you choose to believe it, which I haven’t entirely. The characters are growing up again and learning the truth about the big bad world. Just now as I’m really starting to love the characters this season they are going to leave. It’s ironic, I think I love this show as an escape of my own problems but this doesn’t last either.
I guess in reality Skins is only a brief escape into a world that appears to be so different than mine but in the end everyone has to grow up and move on. In the end, not everything works out like you expect it to and not everyone stays mates. The world inside Skins is beautiful and energetic but it has it’s dark side too. The party can’t last forever, eventually you have to go home.
I know how silly I seem being so caught up in a tv show, particularly one that is about kids 20 years younger than me living in another country. I must admit, I’m nervous at how the ending is going to effect me. I’ve only been watching the show for like 2 1/2 years and I’m a different person now. I think because of Skins I expect a little more from the people around me, just in the idea that I deserve good mates who are around and who want to put in an effort for me.
As Nick (who I never expected to love but do very much now) said once:
Yeah, I fell.. down a freaking k-hole actually, but these guys caught me. It’s what mates do ‘cause it’s screwed up out there. I don’t know if you’ve been outside lately, but it is. But we have a go. Whatever comes, we have a good go at it ‘cause it’s all we can do.
So yeah, fuck it =)
Sometimes I think the majority of what the internet is for is for people to either hate or bitch or both. All I ever see on Tumblr when I look stuff up is people hating on characters or bitching on plotlines. I rarely bitch about my shows except when a character leaves, that’s really the only time I get worked up. I just want to love my shows even if they annoy me sometimes they are how I escape the bullshit of daily life.
Now the truth of the matter is, the show revolves around Ted Mosby. Ted is the one telling the story and Ted is the one who connects everyone. He was roommates with Marshall in college where Marshall also met Lily. Ted met Barney and introduced him to the group and the same goes for Robin. Above everything else, we can’t deny that he’s what really holds them all together.
I agree that Ted can be a bit needy and a bit annoying at times but keep in mind he’s the one telling the story. Of course he’s going to come off more flawed than anyone else but if you were telling the story of your life and your friends you’d probably say great things about your friends and talk about all the stupid shit you did along the way. This article explains it better than I ever could.
Can I also point out that the other characters can be awfully annoying, just in smaller doses because they aren’t the center of the story. Marshall is over-the-top lovey-dovey with Lily, Lily is somehow always super horny, Robin has “commitment issues” we get it and Barney, where do I even start? Still, Ted is the fallout guy for the story and because he is inevitably the character in the worst light he also gets the most flack.
I think if I hated Ted as much as so many people do it would ruin the show for me, because he is the center of the show. I personally think he’s the most relatable and the most real. I’m happy to go on this bumpy journey with him and see how it comes out in the end. When he finally finds what he’s looking for I’m pretty sure I’ll be sitting there with a big smile on my face and a few tears in my eyes.
Just for shits and giggles go and favorite my reply to him if you can, you can see the post here. Don’t acknowledge him, he’s not worth it, I just thought my reply was pretty awesome.
The end I speak of is Skins, I knew it would come eventually but when I tell you I am not ready I am speaking the truth. It’s officially the last series of Skins and in 10 episodes it will be over forever. 6 years, 6 series, 3 generations and quite the ride I will never forget. The third series isn’t something you can compare to the previous 2 series or particularly the original series. Mtv even tried to make their own, it was a joke.
Even though this generation lacks something the other generations had I already love them quite a bit, I think just because Skins makes you cheer on the characters no matter what. Aside from all the drama and crazy storylines friendship is what is really behind it. That’s why I love the show, it’s really about that time when friendship seems to mean everything, just before you have to grow up and head into the real world.
Here is a beautiful trailer for series 6, even if you haven’t watched the show it’s pretty amazing and there aren’t any spoilers if you plan to watch the show.
Ok, I get a big overly enthusiastic when it comes to tv shows (and movies) I’m a big fan of. Two shows I am always trying to get people to watch is Misfits and Breaking Bad. I know not everyone is going to like every show but I really do believe that the majority of people would really love both of these shows.
I’ve yet to get anyone to watch Misfits who hasn’t liked it but that’s a fun show, it’s nothing that is going to keep you up nights or stress you out, well not normal people. Breaking Bad will piss you off on a regular basis and bring on a discussion after almost every episode. So many times Manly Man and I have gone to bed discussing what had happened in the episode we just saw. Sometimes I take an Ativan just to calm down enough so I can sleep.
But I wonder, for the people who don’t like the show, if they wonder how they are missing what everyone else seems to be so enthralled with? Like the show Lost, I’ve never had any interest in watching the show since it seems a bit to fantasy for me but I’ve always wondered if I’m missing out on something. I also wonder if they think the show is like Mad Men and that people don’t actually really like it, they just think they have to like it because everyone else does.
What is the need by some people, like myself, who have this need to convince people to watch stuff that you know is going to blow them away but they just don’t feel it? Is it a matter of feeling you know better than they do? “Eat this, you don’t know what you like.” Is it a need to pull as many people into your Misfits world because your group is just too damn small? Is it just a pathalogical desire to have everyone like the shows you think are amazing?
This would all be a lot easier if people just did what I told them to do and liked what I told them to like. Sigh.
2011 was a relatively quiet year, nothing huge happened but good things were spread out throughout it. Here is a breakdown of the last year. I meant to post this IN 2011 but oh well.
I got particularly obsessed with everything British, particularly British telly.
I learned a lot about myself, such as that I am HSP, which was quite the duh moment if I can admit.
I posted a bunch of Reviews.
I celebrated 8 years with Manly Man.
I learned about friendships and how they are supposed to work.
I wrote about letting go and quite honestly I think I’ve gotten better at it.
I went just a little crazy.
I did a quick movie list of the movies I’m telling you to see or you are a dumbass.
I discussed the art of the Bad Boy, it was riveting.
I did a photography charity thing, felt really good though it was intense.
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