The end I speak of is Skins, I knew it would come eventually but when I tell you I am not ready I am speaking the truth. It’s officially the last series of Skins and in 10 episodes it will be over forever. 6 years, 6 series, 3 generations and quite the ride I will never forget. The third series isn’t something you can compare to the previous 2 series or particularly the original series. Mtv even tried to make their own, it was a joke.
Even though this generation lacks something the other generations had I already love them quite a bit, I think just because Skins makes you cheer on the characters no matter what. Aside from all the drama and crazy storylines friendship is what is really behind it. That’s why I love the show, it’s really about that time when friendship seems to mean everything, just before you have to grow up and head into the real world.
Here is a beautiful trailer for series 6, even if you haven’t watched the show it’s pretty amazing and there aren’t any spoilers if you plan to watch the show.
Ok, I get a big overly enthusiastic when it comes to tv shows (and movies) I’m a big fan of. Two shows I am always trying to get people to watch is Misfits and Breaking Bad. I know not everyone is going to like every show but I really do believe that the majority of people would really love both of these shows.
I’ve yet to get anyone to watch Misfits who hasn’t liked it but that’s a fun show, it’s nothing that is going to keep you up nights or stress you out, well not normal people. Breaking Bad will piss you off on a regular basis and bring on a discussion after almost every episode. So many times Manly Man and I have gone to bed discussing what had happened in the episode we just saw. Sometimes I take an Ativan just to calm down enough so I can sleep.
But I wonder, for the people who don’t like the show, if they wonder how they are missing what everyone else seems to be so enthralled with? Like the show Lost, I’ve never had any interest in watching the show since it seems a bit to fantasy for me but I’ve always wondered if I’m missing out on something. I also wonder if they think the show is like Mad Men and that people don’t actually really like it, they just think they have to like it because everyone else does.
What is the need by some people, like myself, who have this need to convince people to watch stuff that you know is going to blow them away but they just don’t feel it? Is it a matter of feeling you know better than they do? “Eat this, you don’t know what you like.” Is it a need to pull as many people into your Misfits world because your group is just too damn small? Is it just a pathalogical desire to have everyone like the shows you think are amazing?
This would all be a lot easier if people just did what I told them to do and liked what I told them to like. Sigh.
2011 was a relatively quiet year, nothing huge happened but good things were spread out throughout it. Here is a breakdown of the last year. I meant to post this IN 2011 but oh well.
I got particularly obsessed with everything British, particularly British telly.
I learned a lot about myself, such as that I am HSP, which was quite the duh moment if I can admit.
I posted a bunch of Reviews.
I celebrated 8 years with Manly Man.
I learned about friendships and how they are supposed to work.
I wrote about letting go and quite honestly I think I’ve gotten better at it.
I went just a little crazy.
I did a quick movie list of the movies I’m telling you to see or you are a dumbass.
I discussed the art of the Bad Boy, it was riveting.
I did a photography charity thing, felt really good though it was intense.
While listening to the book The Highly Sensitive Person I started making a list of the things that stood out to me. I’m curious if they ring true to you or if you are a HSP but have other traits I didn’t mention.
- Avoiding large groups of people, preferring smaller/intimate groups
- Needing a lot of time alone
- Feeling things really intensely both emotionally and physically
- Needing deep and meaningful relationships
- Often being called over-emotional or being told to relax
- Over-analyzing things often
- Friendships usually are started by chance or by the other person
- Low self-confidence along with trying too hard to please other people
- Doubting yourself
- When over-stimulated, you quickly burn out
- Hates gambling
- Excessive/neurotic anxiety
- Inclined to look inward (spirituality)
- Sabotaging relationships because of feelings you pick up that aren’t your own
- Effected strongly by weather
- Finds water to be soothing
I wonder how many people that are HSPs are also Pisces or have a lot of Pisces in them.
I’m writing another fanfiction, I haven’t done this in a little while. I don’t do this for attention or anything like that, I just do this because I like to imagine what happens with the characters I love after the show ends. It helps me find closure, no matter how lame that sounds.
So I decided to write some fan fiction for Logan and Veronica on Veronica Mars. Not sure who here is interested in this but if you are you can see the story here.
So it seems, while I love British television the most of all television it also breaks my heart more than any other shows. How many times has the show left me crying at the end, unconsoled. Luckily my husband understands, relatively, why this hurts me so much.
First there is Skins, now to be fair to them I knew what I was getting going in, sort of. I learned as I started watching the show that every 2 years they get a new cast. It wasn’t easy letting go of Tony, Sid and Cassie and I still miss them. Then I had to let go of Cook, fucking Cook. Now season 6 approaches in January, the last season and I have to get ready to say goodbye to Skins forever. Unless there is a movie, please tv fairies bring me a movie and I’ll be a good girl I promise!
Then there was Being Human (no not the US one, shut your whore mouth ok?) as I fell in love with the 3 of them pretty quickly. Annie was sweet, George was a goofball and Mitchell was just pure heaven…for a vampire. Then they crushed me and if I remember correctly I didn’t see it coming. At the end of season 3 I was just curled up in a ball of tears. Yes, I said a ball of tears, bite me.
But I moved on because I had Misfits and Misfits would never hurt me. Well ok Nathan left the show but I had the other 4 and that was enough for me to hold on. This show, I can’t explain it, but it’s an escape for me that takes me out of the bullshit of everyday life. I won’t apologize for what it does for me, we all have our ways of getting out of our own head and this is my way. Well last night was another crushing blow and I honestly don’t know what I’ll do. I invested a lot of myself into this show, more than someone probably should but it helped me deal with shit. For how much I love this show I’m not sure I can continue on again.
And so last night Manly Man had to calm me down and that’s just who I am, a show in itself can bring me to tears. It took me a while to get to sleep last night because I couldn’t stop thinking about the travesty that had just happened. Do I still love this show and the other shows? I do, I always will but they have definitely broken my heart. I feel like a 16 year old girl.
I decided to listen to the audio book The Highly Sensitive Person because I knew I was sensitive, extremely sensitive, so I thought maybe it would give me some insight. I never expected it to explain almost all of my serious issues.
As a kid I was very shy, to the point so much that people often forget I was even in the room. If someone said something mean to me I’d either burst into tears or get really sick to my stomach. All my life I’ve been referred to as sensitive or emotional. I even had one friend tell me the song I’m Sensitive by Jewel to remind her of me. Come to think of it the other song I’ve had someone say makes them think of me is Maryjane by Alanis. Yeah, those songs couldn’t be anymore telling.
Maryjane:
What’s the matter Mary Jane, you had a hard day
As you place the don’t disturb sign on the door
You lost your place in line again, what a pity
You never seem to want to dance anymore
I’m Sensitive:
‘Cause anyone can start a conflict
it’s harder yet to disregard it
I’d rather see the world from another angle
We are everyday angels
Be careful with me ’cause I’d like to stay that way
I’ve always felt bad about it, like my sensitivity was a burden and too much for most people to deal with. I suppose knowing what it really is doesn’t mean it’s not a burden, some people deal with me easier than others do.
Things that I now realize about me that are a part of being Highly Sensitive (or easily over stimulated) are the following:
- Insomnia (being too frazzled).
- Having a faster heartrate normally, doctors are always surprised that when they check my heartrate that it’s really fast.
- Avoiding situations that would cause anxiety such as left turns or busy/crowded places.
- Feeling things in situations that aren’t out in the open ie. intuition.
- Feelings things really intensely like music, sometimes it makes me cry and not just because of lyrics, sometimes because the notes or whatever just effect me strongly.
- Being very aware of my inner emotional state, which can be good and bad.
- Creativity, I’ve often said that the part of me that sometimes makes life really difficult can bring out my creativity.
- I tend to have a lot of empathy to the point I’ll be brought to tears for someone else.
- I get easily overwhelmed sometimes to the point I want to cry or just hide, this explains why once when I smoked pot I begged people to put me in the closet.
- Needing a lot of space so much that everyday after work I require 1 hour to be left alone just so I can relax. I often only make plans for 1 day on the weekend if any just because I can’t handle anymore of that.
- Cutting people out of your life is an HSP trait, one I’ve done many times. Usually people that cause me to get over-sensitive way too often.
- I spend a lot of time at home.
My whole life I’ve been criticised for this, to this day I still am. I’m either too emotional or I’m overly-dramatic. In truth, I just feel things more intensely than other people and it can cause me to panic or shut down. I think that’s why I watch so much tv, it grounds me and calms me like not much else can. Listening to audiobooks in my car helps me not get overwhelmed by all the traffic.
It’s a relief to learn about this and know that 20% of the population is HSP, so I’m not as weird and fucked up as I thought I was. I’ve always thought that a lot of my sensitivity was a good thing but the being over-stimulated part can be draining and embarrassing. So from now on when someone tells me I’m too sensitive I’ll just tell them “yes, so please stop making it worse.”
I just happen to hate a lot of what it’s become. Things about the holiday I enjoy in normal amounts are:
- Tastefully done decorations, this does not include anything that is animated or blown up.
- Low-key parties that are about food, friends and conversation.
- The opportunity to be charitable.
I must admit, I never like the music. It’s always the same stuff recycled so whenever it comes on I cringe. Maybe if it hadn’t been SO overplayed over the years I wouldn’t mind it so much but it has, so I do.
So when I get cranky and annoyed this time of year it’s not because I hate those decorated trees or Santa (although I do find it a bit ridiculous but whatever). It’s the commercialism of it, it gets worse every year. I don’t want to see every single commercial about buying a diamond necklace for your wife for the holidays or getting that playstation for your kid for the holidays.
If I had it my way, and I think we can all agree I should be the one to make the decisions here, there would be one year where everyone could only buy another person ONE gift. It would be a rule. If you wanted to you could make them other gifts but you could only buy one gift a person. Instead you had to focus on family and friends and being friendly to others. This kind of Christmas I think I would enjoy.
Instead I’m bombarded with Xmas everywhere where I go and everyone on the road is a jackass. Every store I go into someone is trying to run me down or slams a door in my face instead of holding it open for me. It’s the meanest time of year and that’s why I hide away and avoid it as much as I can.
Bah humbug.
I’m not much of a cook but I am great at finding recipes. I have so many places I find recipes now so I thought I’d share with you some of my collections.
Nom (sweets via Pinterest)
Nosh (just food via Pinterest)
Crockpot (Pinterest)
Yes, I’m a bit of an organizational freak, I organize so much that I over organize and become unorganized. It’s just what I do but maybe you’ll find stuff within these to enjoy. Because of all of these recipes Manly Man and I have been cooking a lot more at home. One day I’ll post a bunch of our favorite new recipes. I’ve shared a bit of it on my photography site Accidental Beauty.
As I’ve written about before, I pretty much never go for a bad boy. The closest to a bad boy I’ve dated in real life was a frat guy and trust me, they are mock bad boys if that. I was watching a little a lot of Veronica Mars again and Manly Man always points out what a dick he is in the beginning. I can’t argue with that, even Veronica Calls him an “obligatory psychotic jackass.” Hey, that’s a great story to tell the grandkids right?
Still, everytime I explain to Manly Man that Logan is just covering up for his hurt because he is so damaged. I mean, his father beat him and some other stuff that fall under the spoiler catagory. His mother is gone and his sister doesn’t seem to give a crap about him. All he really has is Veronica and he has to put up that wall so nobody else can hurt him. Can’t you see what a sweet boy he really is…on the inside?
Same goes for the likes of Tim Riggins and Jess Mariano. They may have been douches at times and fucked up a LOT but they loved their women fiercly. When they loved a woman they would do anything for her, even if it meant their own pain. Yes, these guys are going to piss you off and make you want to strangle them but at the end of the day they’ll be there. Also, they’ll look at you like no other man in the world.
Don’t get me wrong, I still adore my underdog and to be fair, often the bad boy is the underdog. I also love my sweet nerds like Noel Crane, Ross Gellar and Sid Jenkins but I have a new appreciation for that special bad boy who is a little rough around the edges but sweeter than anything on the inside. Although I’d never date a bad boy, way too much work.
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